If you ever sacrifice the internal for the external, you are going to make yourself miserable

If you ever sacrifice the internal for the external, you are going to make yourself miserable. We think that external things will bring us happiness. And it's not our fault; we have all been lied to and tricked into thinking this way. Through capitalism, advertising, and commerce, these things make our world work. Without a social system, we dive into chaos. The only thing is, if we ever figure out that we don't need stuff to be happy, then the whole system collapses.

It's interesting how we think that if a certain number of people like our work, we will be happy. We think that if I wear these clothes and put on this perfume, I will attract the perfect person into our lives. We think that if I have this, then this will happen in my life. But the truth is that advertisements are empty promises. If we look closely at them, they don't promise anything; they are a future endeavor that doesn't exist.

The interminable present of meaningless working hours is ‘balanced’ by a dreamt future in which imaginary activity replaces the passivity of the moment. In his or her day-dreams, the passive worker becomes the active consumer. The working self envies the consuming self. — location: 1125 ^ref-3494 - Ways of Seeing by John Berger

To say without a boring job or desire outside what you already have, ads, capitalism no longer work. A happy, fulfilling, envy-free life goes against the consumer status quo. Knowing this, ads and our current social environment are constantly showing things our life lacks. But these promises are false and untrue beyond the item. A car will not make you happier in the long run. Having that job will not make you more appealing to the opposite sex and guarantee you courtship.

Trading yourself or external things will never fulfill your internal needs. This is something many of us never understand because the system is so good at distracting us from it. Everything we know plays on our emotions, our desires to be liked, wanted, and envied.

Glamour cannot exist without personal social envy being a common and widespread emotion. — location: 1114 ^ref-37488 - Ways of Seeing by John Berger

I strongly suggest you take a look at the things you want, the things you aspire to become and have, and ask yourself how many of those desires are external? How many of the things I want to become are internal? Do you want a house? Why? What will that house bring, give you? Shelter? If so, what is your current situation? Are you not under a roof or have access to shelter currently? Maybe you want your own garden? Are there not community gardens in your area?

This idea of ownership is an innate human desire — mine, I own this. No one else can have this; it's mine, and I can do with it as I please. This is something I struggle with consistently. I want to own certain things — a good phone, a computer to write on, my dream camera. I want these things so I can create without hesitation, without the need for others. Do these things bring me happiness? Of course not; what they produce does, what they enable me to do, brings me joy. Not the object but the outcome, the act itself.

Without internal wants and desires to improve and share my learnings, I would have no purpose. If my internal goal was just to obtain external things, then my life would feel empty and vain. So let's focus on the internal — what is the state of mind I aspire to have? Do you want to be content, happy, admired, wanted, loved, looked up to?

These internal values guide our external motivations. We should desire fulfillment from the internal morals and modifications we make, not for the outcome those internal decisions deliver. We should aspire to get satisfaction from actions that satisfy our internal desires. I love writing; it brings me joy and clarity. I should want to write a book because I love the act of writing. This is an internal motivation. I shouldn't want to write a book because it will become a bestseller and make me well off. This is an external motivation. The internal needs to be the focus, the driver to want to do the thing.

Which brings me back to the start: If you ever sacrifice the internal for the external, you are going to make yourself miserable.