Navigating desires, pleasure, ambition, and a balanced life
Have you ever just jumped into something feet first, all in, and failed? Have you tried to change and then, after a period of time, reverted back to your old ways? Not because you wanted to, but because it was just easier to be your old selves than this new version you aspired to be. Maybe you did keep with your goals, but because of this, everything fell to the wayside, and now all you have are fewer hours of sleep, more work, and less time for the things you enjoyed in the first place.
The Alcohol Analogy
Treat desire, pleasure, ambitions, and escapism like alcohol. Alcohol is great; it's fun, it tastes amazing, and is embedded in our culture—nearly everyone dabbles in it or wants it. Too much alcohol, and we lose control of ourselves, ending up sick or with a hangover. Because we consumed too much, and if we keep doing that, we become addicted, dependent on it. And when that happens, it controls us; it becomes the only reason we get up in the morning. This goes for everything in our lives. We need reserve, temperance to say that is enough before we lose ourselves in it.
The Price of Success
The more money you have, the more it drives all your decisions. The same can be said for health. A healthy goal can turn into your only reason for being, and everything else sits on the sidelines. Family, friends, health, hobbies, happiness, contentment. When we say yes to something, we are saying no to literally everything else. We need to realise that purpose and drive, motivation are all good things, but too much, and it turns into our addiction, our escape or neglect of everything else in our lives. We need balance, balance to find contentment in our lives.
Balancing Work, Passion, and Personal Connections
When we focus on something, we are ignoring everything else. I have realised that I have been doing this with my writing. I have spent more time typing these words than I have spent with my wife at the end of the day. Having a purpose, a drive for something is good, but when is enough, enough? When is my time spent somewhere else more valuable to my life and the people I love in it? At work, we are easily replaced; we are just a number on a salary spreadsheet, our skills can be learned or passed down. But to our family and close friends, we are irreplaceable; we are everything to them. I am realising this more and more as I get older. And it's a hard one to balance when I'm a natural introvert and self-driven.
From Pleasure to Poison
Treat everything like it is a drug, fun in the moment, but damaging over time. This goes for everything, I mean everything. Staying up late, eating bad food, or only healthy foods for that matter. Working so much you don't enjoy the fruits of your labor. Doom-scrolling, technology addiction, reading too many books, or watching too much TV, stead of experiencing life when reality just outside. Too much of a good thing turns stale and bad when it isn't balanced with other aspects of our lives.
Lifestyle vs Strict Goals
People who strictly diet and calorie count, go to the gym every day, and only eat healthy food have a higher percentage rate of failure or stopping. Compare that to someone who eats what they want in moderation and exercises. This is because one group is turning their goals into habits that are sustainable over a lifetime; they cultivated a lifestyle. Where the other group has set a stricter goal and a system in place with too many variables for possible failure. The same goes for success in business or a profession. In contrast, the people who end up successful just do it because it's fun, or they can't think of anything else they would rather do with their time. Most successful people have a little balance in their lives or a lifestyle that works for them, not a goal with a deadline.
Life's Temptations
Everyone wants a life of leisure, a life of pleasures and luxuries. Wanting this isn't a bad thing, but living for only external satisfaction will lead to an unfulfilling life. Living for only recognition, or fame, or power, or acceptance is just as bad because, again, they are not balanced; they are tempting bottles that we think will solve all our problems. And it feels good once we get a taste, and even more feels just as good. It's only the next day, year, or decade that we realise we poisoned ourselves by acting with good intentions.
Beyond the Facade
What can we do? Being self-aware is the first step. Taking a step back and looking at everything we do, like, want, and are is the next. Do your desires line up with your morals, your family's needs? Are you happy, are you not? Looking inwards, upon reflection, we see our true selves in the mirror, and only by looking at that reflection can we begin to understand what really matters to us and what truly makes us happy. Because I assure you it's not just one thing that brings us contentment in our lives. I implore you to find out what those are for you.
