You can't change someone, but you can lead by example
I keep in mind that you can't change someone; you can only show them the way and hope they go down the right path. I'm not perfect, far from it, but I try. I reflect on my state of mind, my actions, and the emotions I feel. I question why I feel a certain way, what the cause is, and where it comes from. I also strive to improve myself, both physically and mentally. However, lately, I've noticed that my body needs more attention than it's been getting.
I am what most people consider normal, but I'm not healthy. I consume a lot of sugar, some carbs, and dairy in my day-to-day life. I go weeks without thinking about it, and then suddenly, I crave a plant-based meal. Even though I can't go without meat, I've tried a vegan diet, and it didn't work for me; I lost too much weight. For context, I'm a tall, thin white male.
I fall into the category of what most would call "skinny fat." I appear thin, but internally, I have a lot of visceral fat around my organs. I have a skinny man's gut, which I hate. I also have high cholesterol in my blood, mainly from dairy and meats, contributing to this dangerous accumulation of visceral fat. Despite being the second healthiest among my family of ten, I believe I can do better and lead by example. As Lester Burnham famously said in America Beauty. “I want to look good naked!”. That would be an added bonus for my marriage.
So, what can you do without telling, preaching, or shaming someone to change their behaviour? I would never tell someone what they can or cannot do; I believe in free will and autonomy. It's your life, your body, and you can do whatever you want with it. The only option I think I possess in this regard is leading by example and hopefully influencing others through my actions, subtly changing my habits in front of and around the people I love, without boasting or explicitly stating what I am doing. I can only control my own actions, and anything more than that is a bonus.
As for my current efforts, I wake up at 5 am every morning, work out for an hour, and then take an hour-long walk. The next thing on my list is to eat better. I'm doing okay, but I can do better. I need to cut out all the soft drinks in my diet and find a healthier alternative like lemon juice or herbal teas. I love having a beverage, and I've been alcohol-free for nine years now. However, I replaced the bottle with soda pop, and my health isn't thanking me for the change.
This brings me back to the idea of changing one's behaviour and hoping to show a better life—a more productive and healthier life—without guilt or shame. I want to emphasize that our bodies are just as important as our minds, and we need to take care of ourselves as much as we cater to and focus on our social media channels or the TV in our homes.
I keep in mind that you can't change someone, but we sure can lead by example.
Age: 37
Height: 187cm (6.1 feet)
Weight: 80kg (176 pounds)
Body fat: 17.5% - 20.4%
