From distractions to decisions, the role of responsibility

It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you can't get any work done because the TV is more interesting. It's not your fault you can't read; TikTok is more entertaining. It's not your fault that you are unhealthy; the bag of chips is too enticing. Some people would say it is your fault, but I'm saying it's not. Our brains want to do the easy thing. We want fun and relaxation. So what are we to do when there are all these distractions and enticements?

If someone was punching you in the face, it's not your fault, right? It's the person who is punching you in the face's fault. They are cause your pain, right? This is undeniably true. Now if you just stand there and not move, if you decide to take no action at all, and continuously get punched in the face, is it still the perpetrator's fault? Or is it partially your fault for not moving now?

Sure, you didn't start this pain, this suffering, but it is your responsibility to now move and change the situation. Sucks to hear, but it is true. Someone might have punched us down onto the ground, but it's our responsibility to get back up. The same goes for all the distractions in your life.

You decided to install that social media app. You decided to purchase that food and bring it home. You decided to take that job, date that person, sit on the couch. It might be hard to hear, but you have designed your lifestyle. You have chosen convenience and relaxation; you have chosen leisure. And who is to blame here? Everyone wants to put their feet up after a long day's work and relax. Who doesn't want to switch off their brain after a long day of tasks and problem-solving? You deserve it.

I come back to this statement, though: you designed your lifestyle. You have put in place things that give you comfort because the alternative is too painful or hard. Going to the gym is hard; it isn't fun. I argue you have decided it isn't fun; you are telling yourself it's hard work and, as a result, not worth the output for the results. You have given these narratives to rationalise and make logic for your decision.

Why can some people do a task, and some people cannot? Why are some people fit, and some people are not? Why are some people daily readers of books, and some people daily social media app users instead? Because that is our choice; we are those people because it fits into the narrative of our lifestyle and who we are and identify as.

Do you think an alcoholic says, 'I'm not drinking,' or do they say, 'I don't drink'? These statements are very similar but profoundly different. One is saying not right now, maybe later. The other is saying I never do that, never will. The words 'not now, maybe, later, another time, soon, tomorrow' are words of inaction, of non-commitment. They are procrastination words. Words we say to make ourselves feel a little better about the actions we have decided. The words 'Don't, never, now, already, am' are doing words, now words, currently doing, am. 'I am a writer, I workout, I eat health, I don't drink, I don't use social media.' These are lifestyle words, choices made so we don't have to think about that subject or task again. They are freeing and definite.

So I say it's not your fault that all these distractions are so good at distracting. And it's not your fault that food tastes so good or is so easy. It's not your fault at all. But it is your responsibility because you chose that lifestyle, you chose to have that app on your phone, you chose to bring that food home. You have made it harder to say no to. You have decided to say later I'll workout, maybe I'll eat those chips; I'll get to it soon, tomorrow, someday. Instead of now, I am a writer, I do go to the gym, I do not eat those foods.

It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to get up off the ground and change your environment, your situation. Because ultimately you have the power, you have the choice. You just have to ask yourself what lifestyle do I want, and who am I. Because what you do now, and today and tomorrow and the next day will inevitably become your life. So decide what you identify as and what lifestyle you want to live. The choose is yours.