Neurodivergent and self-help
The self-help space can be toxic but also damaging when you get advice that doesn't work for you. There is a huge divide between neurotypical people and neurodivergent's. Knowing which one you are will help you consider if an approach to bettering yourself and your life is productive or even viable. So, what can we do to better ourselves without damaging ourselves?
The way I see it is that first, we need to find out what kind of person we are and how we work. Knowing if you're neurodivergent or neurotypical can help a lot. Neurodivergent people have a different way in which their brains work, meaning they have different strengths and challenges when it comes to tasks. Neurodivergent people may have medical disorders, learning disabilities, and other conditions. In other words, you're special, unique; we see the world differently and process information differently, whereas neurotypical people are just the majority, the normies.
Knowing your weaknesses and the way you do a task or how your brain works can help immensely with self-help. Neurodivergent's weaknesses might be emotional intelligence, social interactions, or the ability to work effectively in groups. Personally, I can't work in groups, and I work best when there is no noise, as I have decoding, integration, and organizational auditory processing disorder. Additionally, I have dyslexia; I'm what we call neurodivergent. Knowing this, I can put myself into situations that benefit me in working efficiently and also know how I can help myself.
Knowing my disabilities, I work best alone, often with non-vocal music and a white noise alternative. I can write quickly and get words down on paper and screen in a few seconds. The only problem is I have to go back and spell-check, grammar-check, and decipher all my spelling mistakes. With dyslexia, I will write words backward, spell them like they sound, not like they are spelled. I'll also add extra letters or put in different letters. I know how to spell… kinda. My brain is just a little too quick for my fingertips, I like to think. And having auditory processing disorder just mean I need to work in a quite distraction, chatter free environment with chill music playing.
Anyway, other people might have other disabilities like ADHD, where writing lists is a must, and having frequent rewards for doing a task is necessary to get the work done. Other people might just be lucky and do the work regardless of how they feel or the need for a reward… must be nice.
What I'm getting at is that there is a plethora of people that most self-help books don't apply to. Yet, on every social media platform, they seem to think everyone is like them, that there is a one-fix-all program, and you're just lazy if it doesn't work for you. This is not true in the slightest. The only reason I even found out that I have disabilities was my wife. She asked, 'Do you struggle with this?' And I would say yes, then she would come back with, 'That's not normal.' It's like thinking everyone sees the world like you, then suddenly someone puts glasses on you, and you're like, 'What the heck, is this how everyone else sees the world?'
Going into the self-help world and failing at a suggestion or strategy doesn't mean it's your fault. Often it just means that strategy wasn't for you. You might be a list person; you might not be. Having a whole lifestyle change might work for you, and it might not work for the person next to you. Self-help is a hard subject to tackle because it has that work in it 'self.' It's just you, and you alone to figure out. This is like thinking a fish is dumb because it can't climb a tree. No, it's just in the wrong environment to thrive.
We are all different, and there is no one trick that fits all. That is what makes this world so great to be a part of. There are so many people and so many of us with different methods and approaches on how to live in this world. We can learn a lot from each other when we share how we see the world and our own struggles and triumphs. So the next time you pick up a self-help book or listen to a podcast or audiobook, remember that it might be good information, but just because it's good doesn't mean it's right for you, and that is okay.
